Post by Joanna Blood on Apr 18, 2008 15:47:18 GMT -6
Time has surely changed one day I was in a foster home and now I’m here fighting for right and for even more respect and that’s what its all about now I never know what going to happen next in my life it has always chopped and changed either with a foster family or in the care home or ever less they sent me because the truth is I hated the hole thing, why was it me going though this when all I did is watch the other children get what they wanted, inside I was hurting and then on the outside it didn’t show and I took that to a level that maybe I shouldn’t have but that was then and now was all I cared about as I though things was finally looking up for me and that I was finally getting somewhere then I end up right back down at the bottom of the pile, it wasn’t right.
Pain and Evie your time is running out and me and Josie will be looking to take you down, this maybe about revenge at the moment but when its said and done AJ is still in my eyes and will always will be with me.
All that time with them letter doesn’t seem bad when you look back on what I had and what I have gained now, it means something to me that I had someone to confide in and tell my stories to. I never had that just the four all that I was in and that wasn’t good for a child like me growing up special in the most hard streets in London. I know it might seem to people like I have taken sides but you have to do what is best and some may see that I have taken sides with Josie, but I tell you in time what that means to me, but right now we have a job to do and that’s that.
************
Looking back on things can be a good thing but when its something that you might live to regret then that is the chose you have made, you see I have made a chose and that is to see eye to eye with someone that you might not like but have to get along with to see what you want in the end and hope that you have done the best, that is what I have done, side with Josie to see though and who I want to be with he may not like it and I know why, as I don’t trust Max, Evie or Pain for that matter they just want to pick and poke at him for all it worth and why its just isn’t right at all, that is not how I see things. He is an adult and can make his own chose and I want to be that person who will be with him and let him, because you see that is my goal out of this when it is all said and done, no nothing or anyone will stop and say I don’t belong, I am the person who will see right with Riot and that is what I am after.
Joanna sat there and looked at her computer she hadn’t seem him on in days she was slightly upset in the way he had run of when she had been talking to Josie and she wanted to explain why she had done what she did, but it also made her made when she hear that they were training Evie at the moment why was that happening when she was putting all in her power to see this thought and get what she wanted. She was going to type in an email as he wasn’t there. She sat there thinking of what to write. She had many things you wanted to say, but she couldn’t find the words to it.
Dear Al.
My actions are nothing towards you, or to hurt you in anyway, you may think that they are but no, I do have my reason for this, one that you will understand in time, I hope, yes I know your feeling towards Josie I do, my actions are my own I am hoping that by doing this that you will see that, I don’t want to fight against you at all, it not what I want at all, I am putting everything on the line for you, I didn’t think that you would walk back into my life after some much time had elapsed but now it has I can see its not just you I am fighting for it is my self and to prove that I do have a heart and that I can show my true side to me and that is what I want out of this and not to have things pulled about in all directions, please forgive me for that I don’t want you to think bad of me at all its not what I want. I will show you in time what all this means but for now you will just have to trust me in what I say and do I can’t let anyone but myself win this they don’t see what is beyond this out come well may be Max but as for that nothing else.
I remain Yours my love.
Joanna
She sent the email now would he reply to it she hope he would, she didn’t like it when he stopped talking to her and it wasn’t her fault at all that she was teaming up with Josie this week, it made sense to her to see mutual sides yes that what it was and what must come to be. She wanted Riot to speak to her but waiting like this she didn’t like.
*****************************
Time had elapsed again and no word at all but more pressing things where now on her mind the up and coming match was on her mind and this new alliance with Josie was coming and Joanna was pressed on to see this job though and though she would and looking at what she had in front of her and seeing what her playing fields of. Now she had a new target Evie Jones who she had thought didn’t have the right to be in this but after last week things had certainly changed to see what she had fooled us all and she didn’t like that at all and to be out done by a family member wasn’t good at all
How can you see this as fair when this was my game to start of with and now its become a battle between all these two night, and how could it be that to see how a certain person can come in when I really didn’t that belonged there, you know what I am talking about Evie you stand there like butter wouldn’t melt and you just so high of your self and you come here and take what isn’t yours as you don’t know him at all, you no-nothing never mind what you come up with or say or even do, the fact of the matter is you don’t give a damn and all you see fit is that you want to help that Max play mother to him and help him out in all she can well the thing is you don’t see what she is really doing but Josie and I do, projection really dose anyone need that. I see all what is going and don’t think for second that I don’t, as for you pain be sure to keep your eye on your partner there, I wouldn’t trust her, you saw what happen last week so I hope you have prepared your self for what is coming and not what might happen because as far as I am concerned this war is far from over.
Nothing more can be said at the moment until the next time and what will be said then and what will she do now, only time will tell we will see.
Pain and Evie your time is running out and me and Josie will be looking to take you down, this maybe about revenge at the moment but when its said and done AJ is still in my eyes and will always will be with me.
All that time with them letter doesn’t seem bad when you look back on what I had and what I have gained now, it means something to me that I had someone to confide in and tell my stories to. I never had that just the four all that I was in and that wasn’t good for a child like me growing up special in the most hard streets in London. I know it might seem to people like I have taken sides but you have to do what is best and some may see that I have taken sides with Josie, but I tell you in time what that means to me, but right now we have a job to do and that’s that.
************
Looking back on things can be a good thing but when its something that you might live to regret then that is the chose you have made, you see I have made a chose and that is to see eye to eye with someone that you might not like but have to get along with to see what you want in the end and hope that you have done the best, that is what I have done, side with Josie to see though and who I want to be with he may not like it and I know why, as I don’t trust Max, Evie or Pain for that matter they just want to pick and poke at him for all it worth and why its just isn’t right at all, that is not how I see things. He is an adult and can make his own chose and I want to be that person who will be with him and let him, because you see that is my goal out of this when it is all said and done, no nothing or anyone will stop and say I don’t belong, I am the person who will see right with Riot and that is what I am after.
Joanna sat there and looked at her computer she hadn’t seem him on in days she was slightly upset in the way he had run of when she had been talking to Josie and she wanted to explain why she had done what she did, but it also made her made when she hear that they were training Evie at the moment why was that happening when she was putting all in her power to see this thought and get what she wanted. She was going to type in an email as he wasn’t there. She sat there thinking of what to write. She had many things you wanted to say, but she couldn’t find the words to it.
Dear Al.
My actions are nothing towards you, or to hurt you in anyway, you may think that they are but no, I do have my reason for this, one that you will understand in time, I hope, yes I know your feeling towards Josie I do, my actions are my own I am hoping that by doing this that you will see that, I don’t want to fight against you at all, it not what I want at all, I am putting everything on the line for you, I didn’t think that you would walk back into my life after some much time had elapsed but now it has I can see its not just you I am fighting for it is my self and to prove that I do have a heart and that I can show my true side to me and that is what I want out of this and not to have things pulled about in all directions, please forgive me for that I don’t want you to think bad of me at all its not what I want. I will show you in time what all this means but for now you will just have to trust me in what I say and do I can’t let anyone but myself win this they don’t see what is beyond this out come well may be Max but as for that nothing else.
I remain Yours my love.
Joanna
She sent the email now would he reply to it she hope he would, she didn’t like it when he stopped talking to her and it wasn’t her fault at all that she was teaming up with Josie this week, it made sense to her to see mutual sides yes that what it was and what must come to be. She wanted Riot to speak to her but waiting like this she didn’t like.
*****************************
Time had elapsed again and no word at all but more pressing things where now on her mind the up and coming match was on her mind and this new alliance with Josie was coming and Joanna was pressed on to see this job though and though she would and looking at what she had in front of her and seeing what her playing fields of. Now she had a new target Evie Jones who she had thought didn’t have the right to be in this but after last week things had certainly changed to see what she had fooled us all and she didn’t like that at all and to be out done by a family member wasn’t good at all
How can you see this as fair when this was my game to start of with and now its become a battle between all these two night, and how could it be that to see how a certain person can come in when I really didn’t that belonged there, you know what I am talking about Evie you stand there like butter wouldn’t melt and you just so high of your self and you come here and take what isn’t yours as you don’t know him at all, you no-nothing never mind what you come up with or say or even do, the fact of the matter is you don’t give a damn and all you see fit is that you want to help that Max play mother to him and help him out in all she can well the thing is you don’t see what she is really doing but Josie and I do, projection really dose anyone need that. I see all what is going and don’t think for second that I don’t, as for you pain be sure to keep your eye on your partner there, I wouldn’t trust her, you saw what happen last week so I hope you have prepared your self for what is coming and not what might happen because as far as I am concerned this war is far from over.
Nothing more can be said at the moment until the next time and what will be said then and what will she do now, only time will tell we will see.
